Manroulette

Online sex has never really been something I have indulged in hugely, unless I was in a relationship. It seems that the most inconvenient desires take hold when Im in a situation I should have the most self-control. When I'm single all it seems the only thing that will satisfy me is a healthy long term relationship so wanking via a video link with a boy in Barcelona doesn't really feel my needs. However when Im dating a boy I like a great deal its the best form of relief going.  Manroulette is a gay video link to a random selection of men looking for chats or mutual masturbation sessions internationally. With each click on the 'next' icon is a gay man or boy who you may or may not like either showing just his body, face or erect penis. This can be a great way of spending a hour or two when bored or horny. Personally I like to chat first then take a view whether to move onto something more sexual once I've discovered where in the world they are and how old they are. This week I have been over indulging in this pass-time, chatting with a selection of mainly really horny attached gay guys and guys who are just flirting with gay sex but very discreetly because they don't want their girlfriends finding out.  I find it incredibly sexy when I get a 'straight' guy. I think its the fact they they have to try so hard to hide their gayness and this I find incredible hot indeed. Im not sure why this is entirely. Could it be because of the fact that my father lived a secret gay life for almost 50 years before coming out and Im just curious as to why men do this. Or maybe its because the act of being with a straight guy is the ultimate gay taboo.

One guy caught my attention recently because he was not only very good-looking but at the grand old age of 28 had still never been with a guy despite having online gay sex since its been available. We connected via Skype as the connection was more reliable and because we knew we wanted to chat longer than just a few minutes. He lived in Birmingham and was convinced that he would never become gay because he like girls to. After an amazing conversation where I lied in order to get him to open up more we had online sex and politely greeted each other good night. As soon as we hung up the video link I was looking up is rather distinctive name via facebook where I was happy to discover not only him but his personal website and blog. It turns out he's a successful photographer with absolutely no connection to the gay world at all. So I was convinced that I was the only one lying about being a secret bisexual.

Not only was this guy super cute but he was also a talented creative. I felt sad for him having to hide such a huge part of himself and imagined how he dealt with having to deny his sexuality. I though to myself how lucky I am to have come to terms with this in my early 20's although up until this point I had always though that I wasted so many teenage years having to hide it. We take it for granted when years have come between that dreadful day we came out to our peers and loved ones and the present. It can seem like such a long time ago when so many events have passed where we have been happy and open about ourselves. A small part of me fell for this online guy mainly because I liked his straight acting tendencies and partly because I wanted to help him. Secrets are exciting when they aren't your own. When they're you own they can be such a deep emotional burden. I wonder what he is doing now, I wonder what the boy is doing now, eeek.