Love My Face

Don't you just love it when you carry the weight of the world around on your shoulders and then out of nowhere you suddenly realize that you're a massive drama queen who's just feeling sorry for himself. At this very minute Im watching a BBC documentary about this young man called Jono who was rejected by his family as a baby because of a genetic disorder that affected the way his facial bones developed while he was in his mother's womb. Imagine your own mother casting you aside because you had a deformed face. Thankfully he was lucky enough to be fostered which lead on to an adoption into a very loving family. 


I despise how we as human-beings put so much importance in our appearance. The irony is that Jono grew up to be incredibly vain about his looks, spending hours on his body in the GYM and in the mirror fixing his overly straighten hair. In one scene he uses a hand held camera to film the parts of his face he's unhappy with. I really related to this. I use to spend hours looking at my face until parts of it would change like it was made of putty. If something sad happened to me during the day it would make me feel ugly which would lead me to obsess over my appearance.

At 12 years of age I was getting bullied at school regularly. I use to hate everything about myself especially my face. Over the years I learned to accept a small part of me at a time but never really got round to my face until I reached my late 20's. Even now I look at myself in the morning and think my nose could be smaller and my skin could be smoother. I would get the surprise of my life at work when a colleague would comment on what lovely skin I had or how healthy I looked. I totally dont see this at all. I dont hate my face but I will avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces all day because it can be detrimental to my mood. Its a war wound left over from all those years of self obsessed loathing.

Jono has a beautiful girlfriend and its because of this the BBC decided to make a program about him. People find it fascinating that this guy with a face like a bag of hammers can find love. Why should we find it so shocking that a young healthy good-looking girl is able to see the beauty in a guy with a deformed face? Like she said "its the whole package you fall in love with". People full in love with good looks, success, talent, fame, good body, personality and so on. We become aware of what our whole package is as we develop in our teenage years into adulthood and beyond. We put an importance on the different parts that make up our package depending on how good we think we have it. For example some people will spend more time on becoming successful or building their body in the gym if they score low in the facial area. People with a great face will sometimes just rely on that to get them though life and spend almost no time on developing a career. And then you get the people who appear to have it all but the truth is its all relative. What counts is putting importance into the things that will bring you meaningful happiness.

To Jono the most important thing, even before his body and hair is his love for his family and girlfriend. So of course Jono wanted to get in contact with his birth parents. He wanted to show them what a happy life he has built for himself. The adoption agency contacted them for him but it was bad news. His parents wanted nothing to do with him and for him to never contact them again. Jono now has to accept another missing part of his package now; his birth parents love.

What is my complete package; lots of gaps in the family area. A few in the self-worth area and a bit missing in the looks and intelligence department. To be honest I think my package is pretty even. Its not an amazing package but its not terrible either. Im happy with it in general, its like an old car. Its not my first choice but its got me from A to B and I've learnt to love it. Its a shame you cant test drive others though. It would make for some life changing revelations.