Quiet weekends

The first batch of my colleagues started on the new show I'm working on today so I'm no longer working on my own. Two researchers, a fellow assistant producer and my boss the series producer. Nice bunch of people, easy going, clam and friendly. The two lads who are researching are straight, in their early twenties and boy next door types, talk about sport a lot didn't flinch one bit when I talked about the on the side filming work I do for a gay porn company. A good sign that they're not paranoid about gay guys fancying them and generally open minded. The SP seems pleasant enough and was out the door at 6pm. Another good sign that he's not going to turn into a ball-braker when the production starts becoming more demanding. The girl assistant producer however made me realize something today that I wasn't particularly keen on acknowledging. She's charming enough and good at her job but I'm very aware that she has arrived at the same position as I have in a shorter space of time. I totally don't begrudge her this but it got me thinking as to why this may have happened. Back in 2008 we worked on this very same show and she was below me, in fact she was just starting out in TV. She is only 25 and I'm 30.

As we were shunting down our computers she turned to me to tell me the fifth story about her life that I though I would yet again have no interest in. Turns out this story was about drugs so I thought I would give it my full attention, at least I wouldn't have to fake laugh at the end. The story was about her friend who had invited her to a bonfire night in one of the parks in London. Her friend had stayed with her most the night but had got chatting to a bunch of people who she invited back to her house. At this point I could see where the story was going. She continued to tell me how her friend started taking Cocaine with these new friends she had made much to her disapproval. She said "don't get me wrong, its not like I've never done it but I'm so over that these days". I thought to myself that I shouldn't give her a genuine response to this statement and instead opted for the safe option and told her cocaine can really bring out the worst in some people, which was what I believed anyway. Her story continued until she arrived at what I thought to be a very unkind ending. She had decided to faze this girl out of her social circle. Apparently the group of girls in which they all spend all their time together have all moved on from drug taking and tonight was the night where they would all meet to discuss it behind the 'junky' girls back.  I though to myself this poor girl, all she did was let off some steam in what seems to be an occasional wild night out. The real mistake she made that night was letting one of her very judgmental friends witness it. 

Could this is why this girl has risen to to top faster than I have, the fact that she probably spends her weekends with her boyfriend picking out plate pattens and walking the dog instead of in a club off her face on E. Or could it be her approach at fazing out her friend from her little group that has got her where she is today. Manipulating the people around her to suit her ideal. Which ever way I didn't really like it. I guess its no secret on this blog that I like to take drugs. Its not the main focus of my life but its a pass time I enjoy. Some people are so critical of drug taking and I understand that its due to obvious reasons. Lives have been ruined by drugs, all types of drugs including alcohol and cigarets. Up until now I have always thought that its very possible to have a successful career, great love life and general stability as well as indulging in the occasional naughty weekend. I have witnessed this in others so why not in me. Or maybe there's a point in which you have to just cut it out. Replace those naughty weekends with trips to Ikea and reading the Guardian newspaper. Maybe this slower, less exciting pace of weekend is what makes you work harder or gets you noticed. I agree a rested weekend leads to a more productive week but a naughty weekend leads to a state of mind where I feel blessed to have such a great bunch of friends to party with. 

I have definitely toned myself down these past six months and feel great for it. I plan to continue leaving parties before it gets light out and having nights in with a movie. Its just that I don't want to give up naughtiness completely. Im lucky that the boy does the occasional naughty weekend because I can not stand it when people judge. Its really unnecessary. They say things like "I'm worried about her, she's changed". No, what is actually happening is she doesn't want to do what you do and has different needs. I ended the conversation by telling my new work colleague that maybe her friend just needs to have a blow out for a bit, a tiny bit of escape from the mundanities of work. Perhaps she just stressed and finds that a party is a great way of easing the pressure. I wanted to go on to say that what she doesn't need is for her friends to form a coven and plot against her but I thought to myself I have a few months working with this girl and need to keep her sweet. There is absolutely no way I will talk freely about wild weekends at work. I didn't before hand but from now on I wont even hint at it. The tagging option is staying firmly off on my Facebook and stories of quite weekend actives will become the topic on Monday morning water-cooler conversations. After all I wouldn't want to be judged and sentenced behind my back. Especially at work.