A milestone

This weekend the boy invited me to a dinner party at his place with three of his friends. One friend I had met already. A supply teacher, friendly, a little overweight and a potential allie in what could be a very intimidating situation. As I've explained before most of the boys friends are very talented, successful and privately educated. I often feel stupid and most of the time and I just about get away without anyone realising I am. At a dinner party however there are far to many opportunities for me to make a pronunciation faux pas or make reference to something I clearly have no clue on only to be exposed after the first question.

When the other two guests arrived it became obvious very quickly that they were a very happy straight couple both with very good jobs and both from very wealthy families. I made a point of asking short questions to seek long answers and gave everyone a generous amount of time in which to talk about themselves. After a couple of  glasses each I began to relax into the conversation and was pleasantly surprise when they laughed at my jokes. Once five empty bottles stood proudly at the end of the table we were making jokes about our sex lives and parents. I was so relieved to have won the boys friends over with a few amusing anecdotes and was delighted that I wasn't responsible in orchestrated lowing of tone of the conversation. In fact everyone must have enjoyed  each others company because the boy had to pretend we had run out of wine in order to get rid of his guests.

I was so worried that I would find the night boring and was so deeply relived that I didn't. I want desperately to succeed at being a considerate boyfriend and spending time with the boys friends is a milestone. It sends out the message that I can make changes in my life in order to become more harmonious with yours. There has to be a middle ground in all relationships and both parties must be prepared to move out of their comfort zones and towards one another. Im slowly getting better at this boyfriend thing. Small steps at becoming a better person. Someone who can be flexible and open-minded.

The next project is to get off Grindr. I still cant believe that I need the admiration of gay male strangers in order to feel confident. A little flirtation via the iphone can do wonders for depression or boredom. Thing is I would hate to slip up and use it to cheat on the boy. I don't think I will but the more I use Grindr the more I feel like I'm disrespecting him by flirting with the idea of cheating. Now what is it I should do to make sure this never happens? I wonder if the couple at dinner have similar struggles?