My confession is about drugs, surprise, surprise. I sometimes like to take certain drugs that are looked upon as life-ruining. I however disagree with this view not just because I take them but because once you do start taking drugs like this you begin to realise very quickly that a lot of professional, successful people also take these very same drugs. Sometime people you wouldn't ever expect. Most these people manage to keep it secret from the people around them that don't take it because of the stigma attached to it. There is no deigning that hard drugs do ruin lives. In fact all drugs can ruin lives, it really depends on who is using them.
It has become apparent to many of my friends that take drugs regally (but not the hard ones) that I am taking hard drugs. Some of them choose to ignore it, some ask questions and are generally okay with it and then there are the hypocrites. The ones that take a whole bunch of drugs every weekend, often other peoples drugs without offering to pay for them but feel that they are in a position to judge me about taking opiates.
A friend of mine was treating me very strangely at a party this weekend. Everyone was very high so I just put it down to that but after sometime it became obvious that something was bothering her about me. She then announced to everyone that I had better not be involving a mutual friend of ours in my taking of hard drugs. Our mutual friend takes drugs of his own accord. To suggest that I am dragging him into my drug use is not only inaccurate but very unfair. He just happens to be another person who does it too and who I do it with sometimes. Im not talking about jacking up here, its just the occasional smoke. Its really no worse than a housewife taking valium or a kid on antidepressants. I would go as far as saying that these things are worse.
I decided to calmly have it out with her in the bathroom. I was very open-minded and respectful of her opinion and even though I didn't agree with how she went about it I did however see her point. Our mutual friend has become a very close friend to me over the past year and he is a lot younger than me. He's very wise for his age and I like him because he often comes out with very well thought out opinions even in the most dramatic of situations. I sometimes forget that he is ten years younger than me. He is 21 and I will be 31 in December. Her point was that because of his age he may see me as a example of what is possible in life. Even though I am sure our friendship is balanced I must acknowledge that my actions and what comes of these actions are a kind of guidance for his own choices. I worry that I worry too much and then something like this happens and then I worry that I don't worry enough. I told my disgruntled friend that I would no longer smoke opiates with him.
Today I found our mutual friend a work experience placement at a TV production company. I think a part of me wanted to give him something positive to do seeing as I now feel I've been responsible for putting him in negative situations. To tell you the truth I don't fully believe that. He has his own mind and he does what he likes whether I'm there or not. I've taken this whole drama into consideration now and will be making sure he doesn't slip into any kind of degenerate spiral. Not that I think he will in anyway but now Im gonna make sure it never will now. I cant promise this blog that we will never smoke opiates again with one another but I will be making sure that from now on its not something we do regularly together. So I guess she helped by making me see that I need to be aware of myself and the people around me. I can at times get carried away and forget to have consideration for the situations that involve me and my friends. She can look at herself now though. Every weekend awake for days taking uppers 24/7. Maybe I should perform a similar intervention on her.
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